


goodnight moon

by feychella



Category: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25035547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feychella/pseuds/feychella
Summary: Beverly visits Moonshine's grave.
Relationships: Moonshine Cybin & Hardwon Surefoot & Beverly Toegold V
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	goodnight moon

**Author's Note:**

> Petition to give Bev a hug: sign here.

Bev carries the letters in his hands as he walks to the edge of the Crick, past the strawberry fields, past the apple orchards, and the swamp. A gravestone sits there, alone, and he sits down in front of it, thinking to himself. Hardwon didn’t come with him today - he was traveling off somewhere in Irondeep, helping with the dwarphanages. It would be a long time before he came home to the Crick.

He brings out the rudimentary lighter, gifted to him by Red, and clicks it a few times until the flame sputters to life. Bev holds up the letter and burns it at the grave, letting the charred pieces fall to the ground. The earth would reclaim it, or maybe the wind would. He hopes that Moonshine will read his words one day.

“Hey Moonshine.” Bev fidgets with the edge of his shirt. “It feels dumb talking to a piece of rock. But, uh, I just wanted to tell you that Erlin and I are still going strong. Actually, we’re having a kid. Should we name them Paw Paw?”

He laughs to himself, quickly, before stifling it. How insane he must look, talking to a gravestone. Moonshine could probably pick up on the little details he was repeating to himself aloud, knowing what his tone meant and how he was _struggling..._

Beverly had written her name in flowing calligraphy, through a haze of grief, and Hardwon had painted flowers on the bottom. Together, they buried her. He remembered how Hardwon turned to him - making sure he was okay - and how he walked away from him. She had protected him, supported him, walked him _down the aisle at his wedding._

Moonshine was there for everything: Bev’s first drink, first kiss, all of it. His heart shatters with his next thought. She was his mother on the road, in more ways than one, always making sure that he had food to eat, got enough sleep at night. Because even though Beverly could handle himself, she knew that he was still a kid that never got to be a kid. And maybe she saw herself in him, but who was he to decide what she thought? She was beautifully independent, hair as fiery as her temper, witty and intelligent. Her plans came to fruition and succeeded wildly or not at all. But Bev was always on board. She and Hardwon were the closest he had to parents when they were adventuring. He hated to say it, but Mama Toegold didn’t know what he’d seen, or what he’d _done,_ trying to save this world. Moonshine was one of the last people that would’ve understood.

“What happened? Moonshine, you were supposed to live longer than us. You were supposed to outlive us. I feel so...so _guilty_ because...well, why am I alive? You should be alive right now. Cooking, or being at the Crick.” His voice breaks off. “Convincing Hardwon to come home. He won’t listen to me.” It was true. Hardwon wouldn't respond to him. 

Jolene had told them what had happened. Moonshine was granted the Wish spell, and she used it to reverse her True Life, without telling anyone. Jolene thought that Moonshine wanted to live the rest of her life with the Band of Boobs, but she ended it dying on the edge of the Crick, surrounded by her family. Bev had come running as soon as he heard, Hardwon sailing in on his ship. They were too late. By the time they had both arrived, Moonshine was already dead.

He remembers that familiar heartbreak and tears spill down his face. This time he doesn’t stop them. Hardwon left after the burial, leaving a handwritten note to Beverly behind, telling him he wouldn’t be back anytime soon. So Bev was alone, in the Crick, surrounded by unfamiliar traditions. He couldn’t do this alone. He _needed_ her and she left. He kicks the dirt by his foot. _She left me,_ he thinks. In his soul, he knows that he’s being selfish, but grief is selfish, he convinces himself that he deserves to be a little bit selfish after everything that has happened.

Bev had taken to writing letters to her every week. He didn’t know where to send them to (was there a mailbox in Melora’s Plane?) so at the end of every month, he would visit her in the Crick and talk his life through up to that point. Bev would include every mundane detail that he wouldn’t even tell Erlin because Moonshine _cared_ and she still _cares._ She always cared about him, the little things that made him happy. The letters fizzle out around his feet and he prays to Pelor, knowing that he’s not there, knowing that he doesn’t have any other choice.

The evening fades into a deep grey, shining through the trees onto her grave. Moonlight falls in shafts onto her name, illuminating the flowers that are still as vibrant as ever. Bev brushes the leaves off of where her body is and notices a small paint palette lying in the dirt, paints still fresh. So Hardwon had been here. _Where did I go wrong?_

He thought they’d be closer after Moonshine’s death, they were supposed to be ride-or-die. That was his _Scoutmaster,_ for Pelor's sake. Hardwon needed to mourn, and maybe, just maybe he still saw Bev as a little Green Teen he still needed to protect. Bev grabs fistfuls of dirt and tries to calm himself down. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. _Childish._ He should be getting home to Erlin, to his mother, instead of punching the dirt and feeling sorry for himself.

Shakily, he stands up and blows a kiss to her before starting to walk, feet carrying him further in the springy grass of the forest. Bev gets a little choked up as he turns around, loath to leave her, heart aching with every step he takes. Was it his imagination or could he really see her standing there, smiling at him with Paw Paw in hand? Beverly shakes his head and she's gone, replaced with the gentle light of the stars.

“Goodnight Moon."


End file.
